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Maybe during spring time... by ~xCamix:iconxCamix:



Eva was looking through the open window, with a tired expression on her face. Her black hair fell down dirty along pale cheeks crossed by red scratches. Every breath she took was followed by a sad sigh and tears.
Outside, snow fell down gently, covering the world with its cold, quiet embrace.
The woman looked at the plants: they were dead and had lost all their beauty. The differences between her and them was that plants have a season in which they revive again, that comes every year, without any doubt; whereas Eva wasn't so certain of her own Spring.

Like a robot, she stood up and took her phone and an object hidden in a handkerchief. Dialling her voicemail she let words free in the air. Her hands were trembling.

"I'm sorry Eva; we can't see each other anymore."

Snow covered the garden, that garden which was so bright and green during spring. How sweet it would have been, to go out and feel the sun on the skin, instead of that cold that grabbed her.

"We're simply... Don't take it badly; it's not your fault..."

Words stabbed and hit her with violence. She tried to ignore them, she scratched her face trying to not listen to, she looked out of the window, but the white carpet on the ground didn't give answers. Flowers, little buds growing up, maybe they have the right replies, but they were buried in the depths.

"But it's like, you know... Well, I'm leaving you. It's finished."

Frozen air spread around those cold words full of misery, hate, regrets.
"How different would it have been", thought Eva, "to listen to these words in the spring wind! Would it have brought this voice to me?

"So... Have a nice day."

She didn't have the strength to laugh that pathetic attempt at kindness. Her tears were freezing.

Click. The message ended.

She threw the phone against the wall. Then, she grasped the object in the handkerchief laid on her legs.

Bang. Eva's life ended.
©2008-2009 ~xCamix
:iconxcamix:

Author's Comments

Ok. Work for *Writers-Workshop

This is the prose piece of this poetry piece --> [link]

I'm not satisfied. I prefer the poetry piece.
Anyway, this was an interesting challenge for me.

Please, please please, let me notice my English mistakes.
And give me lots of suggestions!!! I would like to improve this piece as much as I can! 'Cause I feel like it has potential, but I can't express it at all.

So bad :X Really, I think this is horrible. I'll work on it in the next days, for sure.

EDIT I changed the title, I think this one is better. Thanks *BerylAlexandros for the suggestion!
EDIT 2 Huge changes after `Beccalicious' comment!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconjussta:
And I think it's great. I usually don't read literature on DA but this time I'm glad I did :)

--
*vexelove the one and only vexel/vector club!
*HuntingForBloodClub a place for all of the vampires
~JUSSTAnotherstock my stock account

READ.GALLERY.DESCRIPTIONS!
:icontheheartseeker:
so nice but a correction

"they have a season...wich..." you wrote it should be "which"

niice really nice

--
Die,For Whom?
Even I know your heart was beating for me once,I didnt have a chance,for someone who turned her back to me,to her love.
So be it
:iconnuechan:
Descrivi benissimo *_* Ogni volta che leggo un qualcosa scritto da te riesco ad immedesimarmici <3

C'è qualche errorino di grammatica, ma nel complesso non è affatto male u_u


--
Let's Twitter!
:iconxcamix:
Awww ma così mi commuovo *__*
Uhuhuh ti prego dimmeli, voglio che sia perfetta ><
E... grazie :hug:

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:
:iconxcamix:
Thank you very much for the advice :aww:
:hug:

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:
:iconxcamix:
Awww, thank you, thank you very much :hug:

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:
:icontheheartseeker:
no problem. I think this writing will be the best
best wishes

--
Die,For Whom?
Even I know your heart was beating for me once,I didnt have a chance,for someone who turned her back to me,to her love.
So be it
:iconxcamix:
awww thanks ^^

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:
:icontheheartseeker:
you know what? thats something I never will give up saying
you are really sweet

--
Die,For Whom?
Even I know your heart was beating for me once,I didnt have a chance,for someone who turned her back to me,to her love.
So be it
:iconxcamix:
ahaha sometimes I'm not that sweet x) and I'll never give up saying you're really kind!

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:

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June 10, 2008
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